#20 - Lead with trust and curiosity

One of the most subtle ways leaders lose trust is by asking questions they’ve already answered in their heads.

People who know me, know I can be quite opinionated, so I've experienced this first-hand: asking a question when I already had the answer I wanted to hear. It feels like guidance, but it’s really just a test. You’re not inviting a discussion. You’re asking a team to guess what’s in your head and confirm you're right.

This is one of the fastest ways to erode trust. It replaces psychological safety with a guessing game. Team members quickly learn that their job isn't to think critically, but to figure out the "right" answer: yours. It signals a fundamental lack of trust in their expertise and shuts down the very initiative you hired them for. It’s like giving your team a compass, then punishing them for not finding the map in your pocket.

The alternative is genuine curiosity. This is riskier than it looks. It means asking without anchoring. Showing vulnerability. Signalling you might not know the answer, and inviting ideas you might not like. Not to validate your own opinion, but to unlock collective intelligence.

This requires clarity. Before you ask, ask yourself why. Be transparent about how you'll weigh the response, and what it's actually for. This creates a framework where the team's thinking is valued, even in disagreement. It shows that their effort is part of a real process, not just an exercise to get to your predetermined conclusion.

Ultimately, this shifts your role from being the source of all answers to being the cultivator of a thinking, empowered team. It trades the short-term satisfaction of being right for the long-term power of a team that isn't afraid to be wrong, and trusts you enough to find the best path forward together.